Dearest Itty Bitty,
It has come to my attention that you are not so itty bitty anymore. By the sheer force of your leg that you jam under my rib cage, I have come to the conclusion that you have earned a black belt in karate whilst in utero.
If you could kindly refrain from such actions between the hours of 3 a.m. to 5 a.m., it would be greatly appreciated.
Sincerely yours,
Mom
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